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 Produced Film 

"Cool"
A Script
by Steve Olson
Draft 0.2
May 23, 1997

EXT Street Corner DAY

An anonymous intersection, somewhere in The City. CLOSE UP: A plain ol’ fire hydrant. On top is a toilet plunger with a white cardboard flag taped to the handle. On the flag, the word: "Cool"

MAN (VO)

Now that's cool.

REVERSE:

Reveals a young MAN and WOMAN, in their twenties, staring intently at the hydrant. They stare.

MAN

I hear they already have a Web site.

WOMAN

Do you think they knew they were making something cool? Or they just made it and it was cool?

CUT TO - Hydrant.

MAN (VO)

I don’t know.

CUT TO - Man and Woman

MAN (cont)

It’s cool.

A FIESTY YOUNG GUY ENTERS, sipping a fiery cappuccino. He wears round little cyber-geek glasses. On his tshirt, he proudly sports a hand-drawn replica of the hydrant. Tshirt caption: "This is cool."

FEISTY YOUNG GUY

Hot off the presses.

WOMAN

Wow.

MAN

Cool.

FEISTY YOUNG GUY

A hundred thousand pre-orders, from here to Bangkok. God, it’s great to be alive!

WOMAN

Can I get one?

The FIESTY YOUNG GUY steps towards the hydrant, in front of the other two.

FEISTY YOUNG GUY

That’ll be twelve ninety-five.

WOMAN

But I saw it first.

FEISTY YOUNG GUY

You want to be cool? Twelve ninety-five.

He kneels down.

CUT TO - Hydrant.

FEISTY YOUNG GUY (VO) (cont)

It’s got presence, you know? Great things don’t wait for an audience. They demand attention! You and I, we can’t tell, but this could be writing the history of the twenty-first century.

A crusty drunkard in Cal Trans finery ENTERS, sweeping up the sidewalk. He accidentally knocks the plunger off. Without pausing, he sweeps it in the bag. All that’s left is the plain ol’ hydrant.

CUT TO - Man, woman and FIESTY YOUNG GUY.

WOMAN

He’s right.

MAN

It’s... It’s just not...

WOMAN

We should go.

MAN

Yeah.

The WOMAN turns away and stops. The MAN removes a taped-on image of the COOL-hydrant from her itty-bitty backpack. He forces it on the FIESTY YOUNG GUY and tries to express himself. But can’t:

MAN

I don’t know.

MAN and WOMAN EXIT.

The FIESTY YOUNG GUY stares at the naked hydrant. Enraged, he slams the cappuccino and the tape ball on the ground. He rips the tshirt off his back and throws it at the hydrant. Naked to the waist, he yells incoherently at his former infatuation.

Off-screen, something catches his eye. He runs for it, the Next Big Nothing.

CUT TO - hydrant. The balled-up tshirt on the ground.

FIESTY YOUNG GUY (VO)

Now that’s cool!

THE_END.